| 1d100 | | |
| Meat |
| 1 | Hanging meat. | Salt it, flatten it, leave it to air-dry until it falls apart. Really tough, a little green around the edges. |
| 2 | Pickled eyeballs. | Mostly flavorless, slightly greasy, hard to explain to visitors. |
| 3 | Dried eel. | Leathery. Smells like wet dog. |
| 4 | Weird bit. | The tendon from the left leg. The wattle. The gizzard. Something you wouldn't normally eat. |
| 5 | Blended organ sack. | A stomach filled with other bits of animal and special spices, left to ferment. |
| 6 | Rotting fish. | Has to be a very specific kind of fish. Carried in glass bottles. Smells like death. |
| 7 | Dried crickets. | Served in honey. Well attested in holy books; less appealing these days. |
| 8 | Fermented crab. | PC swears it's an aphrodisiac; everyone else thinks the smell is off-putting. |
| 9 | Dried meat. | Mashed with fat and berries and dried in strips. Tastes like the bottom of a gardener's boot. |
| 10 | Mashed stoat. | Minty fresh for some reason. |
| More Meat |
| 11 | Baked rat. | Except it's not a local rat. It's some kind of smug-looking foreign rat. |
| 12 | Pig grease. | The leftovers from a thousand plates of fried pork. Crunchy. Kept in a jar. |
| 13 | Mashed ants. | Lured out by the PC and cooked in a pot, then mixed with grain. Terrifyingly awful. |
| 14 | Whole songbird. | Would be fine, but it's coated in some sort of black foul-smelling paste. |
| 15 | Fermented bird. | Store it in a sack then drink whatever drips out. Absolutely awful. |
| 16 | Dried lizards. | Tiny. Eat a handful at a time. Crunchy but extremely dry. |
| 17 | Rabbit ears. | Why the ears? And why eat them with the fur still on? |
| 18 | Sea thing. | Horrible little sea insect. Too many legs, bright pink, baked then preserved in red sauce. |
| 19 | Tiny flat fish. | Smoked, and then kept in a sack. Eaten whole. Pungent smell and scales everywhere. |
| 20 | Teeth. | Handfuls of broken teeth from all sorts of animals. Swallowed whole. |
| Eggs |
| 21 | Eggs, cooked. | Boiled in something unpleasant, left to dry in the sun. Tastes like battery acid. |
| 22 | Eggs, fermented. | Buried in clay for a month. Sulphrous, crumbly. |
| 23 | Eggs, mashed. | Mixed with some horrible root. Smells like burnt meat. |
| 24 | Eggs, candied. | Put in an urn with weird roots. Crystallized, snaps like glass, tastes like hair. |
| 25 | Eggs, fish. | Lots of little tiny ones, black like stones. Briny, unpleasant aftertaste. |
| 26 | Eggs, insect. | White, the size of a thumb, taste like soap. |
| 27 | Eggs, lumpy. | From a bird with the hiccoughs, maybe. Bulges. Tastes like milk. |
| 28 | Eggs, snail. | Pickled in brine. Thin shell, tastes like mushrooms, slight worries of snails hatching inside you. |
| 29 | Eggs, sea. | Not sure if they are from a plant or a fish. Large, green, briny pouches. |
| 30 | Eggs, exotic. | Blue and green with stripes. From somewhere in the mountains. Watery and sulphrous. |
| Strong Drink |
| 31 | Horrible herbal liquor. | Sold in tiny glass bottles, vaguely greasy taste. |
| 32 | Blessed water. | Blessed by a particular saint or god. The PC can taste the difference. |
| 33 | Green infusion. | Apparently made by monks. These monks must be real sick bastards. |
| 34 | Brown liquor. | Very strong, made by alchemists, dries out your throat. |
| 35 | Honey beer. | Comes in clay pots. Delicious but distinctly foreign. |
| 36 | Fermented cloves. | More of a mash than a drink. Will make your earwax run. |
| 37 | Red liquor. | Thick like treacle, tastes like fruit, but makes everyone but the PC throw up 10 mins later. |
| 38 | Bitter leaves. | Make a horrible medicinal drink if soaked in boiling water. The PC eats them raw in emergencies. |
| 39 | Pale brown liquor. | Made from trees, somehow. Tastes like pine needles, sap, and splinters. |
| 40 | Buttery wine. | Not made from grapes, that's for sure. Strong, but kind of slimy. Starchy flavour. |
| Root Vegetables |
| 41 | Fat purple turnips. | Kind of tasty if cooked, but the PC insists on eating them raw. |
| 42 | Long grey carrots. | Very very spicy. |
| 43 | Rock-like vegetable. | Devoured raw, leaks milk. Utterly disgusting. |
| 44 | Round green lumps. | Some kind of nut? No one is sure. Incredibly bitter aftertaste. |
| 45 | Thin white roots. | Served by the handful. Faint smell of cut hay. |
| 46 | Corkscrew turnips. | Worse than regular turnips in every way, from appearance to texture to cost. |
| 47 | Fat white root. | Like an obsese carrot, but it tastes like sweat. When dried it starts to fall apart. |
| 48 | Horrible onion. | Red, not yellow, and sharply acidic. The devil's onions. |
| 49 | Lumpy root. | Shaped like a deformed person or a sick animal. Orange and fibrous, strong flavour. Chewed. |
| 50 | Hairy yellow root. | From a flower. Tastes like vinegar, but it keeps away insects. |
| Leafy Vegetables |
| 51 | Broad green leaves. | Opens the pupils, increases the heart rate, makes the PC talk very quickly. |
| 52 | Diamond leaves. | Tingly, stains the teeth green, fairly mild flavour. |
| 53 | Small grey leaves. | Ashy. Sold by apothecaries. Strong hallucinogen, PC is immune. |
| 54 | Stringy frayed leaves. | Tastes like soap. PC insists it does not taste like soap. |
| 55 | Flat green leaves. | Bitter, watery. Slowly rot into a dripping mass that is still, somehow, edible. |
| 56 | Fern leaves. | Taste like grass, but with runny sap. Stains the teeth green. |
| 57 | Orange leaves. | Dried and crispy. Crushed up and held under the tongue. Makes the PC sleepy an hour later. |
| 58 | Little round leaves. | Tastes like copper and makes everyone but the PC sneeze uncontrollably. |
| 59 | Veiny lumpy leaves. | Bitter and horribly chewy. Like eating a sheet of lead. |
| 60 | Curled-up leaves. | Little balls of green, swallowed whole. Gives everyone but the PC gas. |
| Bread |
| 61 | Hard cakes. | Why would anyone do that to bread? So dense they hurt your teeth. |
| 62 | Drip cakes. | Bread thrown into boiling fat. Extremely weird. |
| 63 | Spice bread. | A pinch of spice from Foreign Parts. Tastes like leather. |
| 64 | Rolled bread. | Layered meat and cheese inside bread. Looks appetizing, but the spices used are very unusual. |
| 65 | Yellow bread. | Made from some some grain from Foreign Parts. Gritty. |
| 66 | Corpse bread. | Like bread that's been left to die. So stale, so crunchy. Squeaks when you eat it. |
| 67 | Hole bread. | The baker must be mad because it's full of air and holes! |
| 68 | Stack bread. | Tiny round loaves, hammered flat, then layered with some powdered spice. |
| 69 | Incompetent bread. | Strange flour and water cooked in a pan. Makes a round puffy thing. Goes stale immediately. |
| 70 | Round bread. | Spheres of dough with meat and yellow spices inside. The spices are very strong. |
| Cheese |
| 71 | Blue-black cheese. | Wrapped in the stomach lining of a goat. Smells awful, causes birds to fall from the sky. |
| 72 | White lumpy cheese. | In a wineskin. Acidic, but fairly tasty on bread. PC insists it pairs well with fruit. |
| 73 | Grey runny cheese. | Tastes like salt and sand. |
| 74 | Yellow hard cheese. | Looks fine but tastes appalling. Chalky, pungent, almost dusty. |
| 75 | Purple cheese. | Made with blood or something. Veinier than usual. |
| 76 | Grey hard cheese. | Thick rind, smells like a cow dying of starvation. Kept coated in wax. |
| 77 | Monk cheese. | Made with milk from blessed cows and covered in the remains of holy candles. No real taste. |
| 78 | Travel cheese. | Cheese with all the water squeezed out and replaced with an unpleasant thin oil. |
| 79 | Soft white cheese. | Served in clay jars. Sweet, but causes gastric disasters in anyone but the PC. |
| 80 | Meat cheese. | The PC insists on making it with things from the ocean and not pork or beef trimmings. |
| Mushrooms |
| 81 | Folded mushroom. | Moist and curled like a calf's brain. Tastes like pine needles. |
| 82 | Black mushroom. | Looks deadly and menacing. Tastes like buttercream. |
| 83 | Crinkly mushroom. | Crunches like frost with white puffs of spores. No taste, but it gets in your nose and ears. |
| 84 | Round pink mushroom. | Dilates the pupils and makes everything look fuzzy. |
| 85 | Round grey mushroom. | Deadly to dogs and cattle, but the PC swears it's fine to eat. Tastes like old beef stew. |
| 86 | Red mushroom. | White spots, perfectly round, dries into little hard lumps. Dusty and acidic. |
| 87 | Tall white mushroom. | Like little spears. Acidic taste. Smell like burnt bones. |
| 88 | Brown plate mushroom. | Grows on the side of trees, apparently. Like eating a soggy plank of wood. |
| 89 | Puffball mushroom. | Round white balls with fine brown dust inside. Dust chokes the lungs and tastes like ash. |
| 90 | Eye mushroom. | Has wet black spots like eyes buried in soft white flesh. Tastes like peat. |
| Assorted |
| 91 | Brownish beans. | Taste like sawdust and bleach. |
| 92 | White beans. | Like pebbles, but chewy. After a few minutes your tongue goes numb. |
| 93 | Red beans. | Taste metallic, deeply unpleasant. Apparently very good for you in large quantities. |
| 94 | Horrible sea thing. | Orange. Looks like a deflated penis. Probably tastes like a deflated penis. |
| 95 | Pointy red fruit. | Full of seeds. Burns like fire, makes your eyes water, and gets all over your hands. |
| 96 | Oval green fruit. | Bitter, salty, and chewy. Leaks oil. |
| 97 | Snake venom. | Makes the tongue go black. Not enough to kill anyone if ingested. |
| 98 | Pink salt. | From the mountains. Apparently heals you and makes your hair grow. Just tastes like salt. |
| 99 | Cat milk. | Seriously, who milks a cat? A thin crusty rind of milk. |
| 100 | Magic powder. | Ground up wizard skulls or something. Makes your hair stick striaight out and your eyes bulge. |
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